1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I
fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out
of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received
anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you
send me until I return from holiday on 4 September. Please be
patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged
$5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and
unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and
try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see all the in-duh-viduals who did this)
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply
in approximately 19 weeks.
7. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret' instead of 'Jim'.